You all remember Miss Muffet, right? She sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey (i.e. cottage cheese). But then she had that issue with the spider who tried to sit with her.
Miss Muffet and the spider
Obviously, Miss Muffet was traumatized by this event in her young life. But she overcame, she grew up, learned to stifle her screams and back away from spiders. She never ever sat on a tuffet to eat cottage cheese again. She always ate her cottage cheese at the table, of course this was after she checked the surrounding area to make sure it was clear of spiders.
Eventually Miss Muffet married and had children – all boys. The interesting thing about boys is they like to scare their mothers. They hide behind things and jump out yelling, hoping mom will jump out of her skin and have a heart attack. They rarely get that reaction but will settle for a good scream. Boys tease their moms by getting into precarious positions and grinning about it. Boys then grow up to be teens and they text their mothers – “mom I had an accident”. They do this knowing that it is all that will pop up in her text screen on her phone – thus causing her to drop to her knees, praying as she opens the text with trembling hands to read “…I spilled ketchup on my new shorts”
Miss Muffet has learned that some days require more than just one cup of coffee. And some days she wishes that she kept the coffee pot next to her bed. Today was one of those days.
Miss Muffet crawled out of bed, a bit bleary – her contacts were not quite ready to work yet so things were slightly blurry. As she opened the bedroom door, a black blob on the floor began to take on the shape of a rather LARGE spider. Not a small spider, either – but one the size of a tarantula. Her heart stopped and so did she. Several things started to rush through her mind 1) there are no tarantulas in the Pacific Northwest. 2) it must be a fake rubber spider. 3) Oldest son is away at college, so this can’t be his prank. 4) This spider is hanging out in front of youngest son’s door – but he is away as well – she hopes there is not an infestation of spiders in his room.
Without coffee - this looks suprisingly real
Miss Muffet’s brain starts to click into gear – the light switch would help. Sure enough it’s not a real spider. Rather it’s a small beanie spider (which was flipped over so it’s stripes were not visible). This beanie spider had evidently crawled away from the rest of it’s companions. This leaves Miss Muffet with only one conclusion. Her quiet middle son, the one with autism, who rarely shows his sense of humor, had set out to prank his mother. It worked. She is now on her third cup of coffee wondering what else is in store for the day.
Of course! But please, please do not let second son know that Grandma will jump for anything resembling a snake, even with her glasses on and several cups of coffee.